May 21, 2009
May 20, 2009
May 12, 2009
Who here likes Blink-182?
Last night I heard a knock at the door in my dream. I went downstairs in my underpants (white Fruit of the Loom briefs that sort of look like a diaper) and with both of my feet crammed into a single, beige nylon sock. I opened the door and there were four or five people whom I had never before seen in my life. Either 80 or 100% of them were girls, either 75 or 80 or 100% of those girls had thick glasses, 50 or 75 or 80% also had dark, ratty hair.
They all looked really unimpressed with my appearance. One of them leaned over to another and asked "does this make you really uncomfortable?". It did!
I also felt a little uncomfortable because of their discomfort, and embarrassed. They crowded into my hallway and were saying that "they should have come on day 3 of the party rather than day 1", and complaining that nobody was there.
I had no idea that there was supposed to be a party, and my mother was home, and I didn't have any booze or Fanta or regular potato chips. I felt really unprepared and overwhelmed. The blonde girl was being forced into contact with me due to the lack of space in the hallway and I started frantically kissing her face, without resistance (although she was not kissing me back).
After I woke up I went downstairs to change my underpants and realized that Tommy must have made some fake posters for a three-day party (like he and I used to do for fake shows at people's houses). I imagined how embarrassed I would have been in reality to admit those girls into my Magic: The Gathering-laden bedroom.
Then I compiled some cereal and ate it while reading Awkward Boners.
They all looked really unimpressed with my appearance. One of them leaned over to another and asked "does this make you really uncomfortable?". It did!
I also felt a little uncomfortable because of their discomfort, and embarrassed. They crowded into my hallway and were saying that "they should have come on day 3 of the party rather than day 1", and complaining that nobody was there.
I had no idea that there was supposed to be a party, and my mother was home, and I didn't have any booze or Fanta or regular potato chips. I felt really unprepared and overwhelmed. The blonde girl was being forced into contact with me due to the lack of space in the hallway and I started frantically kissing her face, without resistance (although she was not kissing me back).
After I woke up I went downstairs to change my underpants and realized that Tommy must have made some fake posters for a three-day party (like he and I used to do for fake shows at people's houses). I imagined how embarrassed I would have been in reality to admit those girls into my Magic: The Gathering-laden bedroom.
Then I compiled some cereal and ate it while reading Awkward Boners.
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May 3, 2009
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